Emmett's Fan Fiction
by meclipse
Summary: Emmett thinks he can write an M rated story for FF, but has trouble with the wording


EmPOV

"Jasper, have you seen this website?"

Jasper looked over at me from the paper he was reading and asked "which website is that, Emmett?"

"This Fan fiction website. It's great!"

"Actually, I have looked at some of the stories on that site," Jasper said as he looked around his paper. "There are some very talented people that contribute. There are some not so good ones, as well. I've been very impressed with the storyline detail and quality of the writing of many of the authors."

"Well, I don't know anything about that, but some of these guys write fantastic porn!"

_Man, that last story got me so hot; I wish Rose wasn't out looking for those car parts. I can't wait 'til she gets home._

Jasper dropped the paper to his lap, and stared at me.

"What?" I asked him.

"Porn? Where is there porn in fan fiction?" he said.

"Are you kidding? All you have to do is look for the "M" rating on the stories and there is some really hot stuff in here."

_What the hell is he reading? He must be looking at only the K or T stuff. _

"Are you just looking at that K or T stuff? Jasper, my brother, you need to broaden your horizons!"

I watched him pull is paper back up and cover his face.

_Jesus, he's not usually such a prude. Edward I could see sticking with the sappy, flowery stuff, but Jazz is… well, he's experienced! Hey, maybe that's what the Virgin Mary Edward needs! I should tell him about the M stuff on this site. Might give him some ideas. I'd bet Bella would be happy. _

"You know, Jazz, I bet I could write a pretty hot story. All I'd have to do is write about some of the stuff Rose and I do. That's always hot!"

Jasper slowly lowered his paper and I heard him sigh.

"So, what do you think? I could write shit like this."

I watched as Jasper stood, folded the paper and placed in on the table. He looked over at me and sighed again. Then he walked out the door.

"OK, I'll see you later" I called to him. "I'll let you read it when I'm done!"

_So, what shall I write about? Maybe the time Rose and I did it in the Jeep? Or how about that time in the snow? Gave a whole new meaning to a winter wonderland! Oh, that reminds me of the time at that amusement park. That was great! That's what I'll write about._

I opened Word and placed the curser at the top center.

_What shall the title be? Ferris Wheel Fucking? No, I can't say 'fucking' in the title. Prudes like Jazz who don't read the good shit wouldn't like to see 'fuck' in a title. OK, how about Banging in the Park? Yeah, that's good._

**BANGING IN THE PARK**

**BY EMMETT CULLEN**

**RATED M**

_Now, how to start it. Well, I should just get to it. That's why people read this shit. They want to read the hot stuff. Wait, who is this gonna be about? Oh, I know. Lois and Kent. No, Lois and Superman. Kent is a pussy. Superman's a stud and you know he's gotta be hung. And if this is a story about me and Rose, then it's definitely gotta be Superman. Too bad Lois isn't as gorgeous as Rose._

**Superman reached under Lois's shirt to squeeze her boobs.**

_No, I can't say boobs. Too tacky. And' breast' is too clinical. Carlyle might like that, but no one else would. Virgin Mary Edward probably would. Nah, breast won't work. Tits? Maybe. Tatas? Yeah, I like that._

**Superman reached under Lois's shirt to squeeze her tatas. Lois moaned and wiggled her ass.**

_Ass? Butt? Soft cheeks? Oh, yeah…_

**Lois moaned and wiggled her soft cheeks. She placed her hand on Superman's hard dick. Enormous hard dick. Gigantic hard dick.**

_Maybe I should use another word besides 'dick'. Everybody uses 'cock' so I don't want to say that. What's that word that Rose used once? Oh, I remember…_

**Lois grabbed Superman's gigantic hard schlong.**

_This is great! I'm getting hot already!_

**Lois squeezed Superman's schlong through his tights.**

_What kind of a guy wears tights? I mean, all those superhero's wear tights. Superman, Batman, Spiderman. Rose had me put tights on once and they were damned uncomfortable. Don't know how those guys can fight crime with their dick, oh, I mean, schlong all squeezed up. As well as their balls. Oh, I need to talk about Superman's balls! Wait, Rose says she hates the word 'balls'. I don't know why. That's what they are, after all. Oh well. So, if I don't call them 'balls' what can I call them? 'Sac'? 'Cajones'? Yeah, that sounds like good literature._

**Lois reached down and grabbed Superman's cajones with her other hand. Superman was glad Lois wasn't wearing a bra so he could pinch her nipples.**

_Is 'nipples' an OK word? Is there a better word? What did that one story I read call them? O yeah, 'rosy buds'. Nah, not gonna use that. That is just too pansy for me. I'll just leave the nipples there until I think of something better. Maybe when Superman sucks on 'em, he'll have a better word for them. Superman would never say 'rosy bud.'_

**Lois pushed her tatas against Superman's chest, rubbing them up and down his massive body. Superman was getting pretty hot, and his schlong was pretty fucking hard. He wanted to eat Lois's pussy.**

_OK, girls hate the word pussy and I'll bet there are a lot of girls who read this shit. And they like that C-U word even less. Guys like pussy. It sounds wet when you say it._

"Puuuuusssssyyyyy"

_Yep, sounds wet and makes me hard just to say it. Damn, when is Rose gonna get home? What was I doing? Oh, yeah, another word for pussy. There isn't another word for pussy! Pussy is what it is! Maybe I can describe it…it's soft, and pink and smells good. Superman wouldn't say he wants to eat her 'soft, pink, smell good place'. That sounds dumb. I love to eat Rose. Is she home yet? Rose tastes so sweet…THAT'S IT! 'Sweet spot'._

**Superman wanted to eat Lois's sweet spot. He loved to run his tongue up and down and in circles. And Lois loved it too. Of course, Superman also liked it when Lois sucked on his schlong. That girl could deep throat him all the way.**

_Hey, this is getting good! They have contests on Fan fiction don't they? This could win some award, I'll bet. _

**Superman picked Lois up and carried her to a picnic table.**

"**I'm hungry for you, baby" he said.**

**She spread her legs (she wasn't wearing any panties either) and said "I'm your breakfast, lunch and dinner big boy."**

_Shit! Rose better get home pretty soon or I'm gonna bust. Can vampires get blue balls?_

"**Let's sixty-nine" Lois said.**

"**Sounds good to me" said Superman. He reached to take off his**

_Well, fuck. How the hell does he take off tights? And doesn't he have on little tight pansy shorts over his tights? How the hell did he __eve__r get any? Wait a minute! He changes in a phone booth in seconds, so he should be able to shuck his underwear pretty damn quick. Especially with Lois spread out before him._

"**Sounds good to me," said Superman. He took out his schlong and climbed over Lois. **

"What the fuck are you doing?" I heard behind me.

"Rose, baby, you're home!"

I saw her reading what I had written and had to smile waiting for her praise.

"You are an idiot" she hollered as she slapped the back of my head.

"Rose, honey, I wanted to write about us. How hot we are together. You, know…" I stood up and turned around, grabbing her around the waist. "You make me so hot, baby, I just wanted to share."

"Em, I love you. You know I do." She put her arms around my neck. "And you're right, we are hot together. But, let's just keep it between us, shall we?" Then she leaned up to run her tongue up my neck.

I picked her up, moving toward the stairs. I needed her now, and the real thing was a whole lot better than what I could put on the paper.

Epilogue in no one's point of view:

"Is someone working on the computer?" Esme called, knowing everyone would hear her. When no one answered, she clicked the mouse to get rid of the screen saver so she could do some on line ordering for the wedding. Seeing a Word document, she began to read…


End file.
